Uncockblockable Read online

  Uncockblockable

  Shay Savage

  Copyright © 2013

  Shay Savage

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover design by Mayhem Cover Creations

  Dedication

  This story is dedicated to the Wolfe brothers for their love of fun, life, and friendship.

  Nick Wolfe is a real-life friend who didn’t do much of anything you are about to read in this story, but does own a shirt with “Uncockblockable” written on it, and is always a lot of fun to be around. Nick's twin brother, Brian, was diagnosed with cancer in 2012, and a portion of the proceeds from Uncockblockable will go to his family to help with the medical expenses.

  Thanks for purchasing this story and for supporting Brian. Please consider additional support – every little bit helps. You can find out more about Brian's fight for life on facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/BrianWolfesFight

  Special thanks to everyone who helped me get all of this together and a very short amount of time! I couldn’t get this completed without everyone’s help with editing, cover art, ideas, and encouragement.

  Chaya, Tamara, Holly, Adam, and of course – Nick.

  Table of Contents

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Gratitude

  Chapter 1

  There’s a big difference between fame and infamy.

  I placed my arm on the back of the booth. The pretty redhead next to me looked up and batted her eyelashes a little before tilting her head and sticking the tip of the straw in her mouth. Her fingers wrapped around the glass and made patterns in the condensation. I wasn’t really sure how many Long Island Iced Teas I was going to have to buy this little soon-to-be notch on my bedpost, but watching her take that straw in her mouth was heating me up.

  “I have an early morning, love,” I said in an absolutely perfect and totally fake British accent. With practiced ease, I glanced down at my illuminated phone to get the time but then quickly turned my focus back to her bright green eyes. “I think it just might be time to pay the tab and think about heading back to the hotel room.”

  It’s just about time to get you on your knees and up close and personal with my cock.

  From across the bar, Lee gave me a wave and pointed towards the smoking patio. I gave him a slight nod but mostly kept my attention on the chick next to me in the booth as she slurped on her drink. Keeping your attention someplace other than on the girl you’re with is a surefire way of not getting laid, and I intended to get laid.

  My heart thumped a little faster when I thought about the pink-coated lips currently wrapped around a straw wrapped around my dick instead.

  Getting laid was the only reason I even agreed to split a hotel room with Lee in the first place – the dude was married, and though he talked a bunch about hooking up when he was away from the family, he’d never actually do it. He was far too devoted. Otherwise, I would have just shown up for the parties at the science-fiction themed convention being held in Rosemont and gone home when everything tapered off. The con was a bit outside of Chicago, but I still would have taken a taxi or whatever back home if it wasn’t for the likelihood of available pussy.

  Maybe I was a man-whore – I didn’t know.

  Maybe I was just bored.

  It’s not that I didn’t respect women – I do. It was expected of me though, and I guess that’s where the fame versus infamy came in. Everyone in Chicago seemed to know who I was, or at least figured it out pretty quickly. I’m not a celebrity or anything – I don’t act on film. I can’t sing for shit, and I don’t play an instrument.

  Well, not the musical kind.

  “Did you finish all the treatments for that horribly contagious disease you picked up?” Kimberly asked as she smirked at me from the other side of the table. One of Lee’s friends, Chris, covered his mouth up to keep from laughing out loud.

  Lovely.

  “The what?” the chick next to me asked, tilting her head.

  Think quick, Nick.

  I wasn’t going to be cockblocked that easily.

  “Have you heard of the bird flu?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Well, when I was on a missionary trip to Asia, I visited this little village far away from any of the cities. I was warned not to go, but I knew there were children suffering there and I couldn’t just leave them to rot now, could I?”

  It was total bullshit, but her wide eyes told me she was eating it up.

  “The conditions there were terrible, and though I had brought nutritious food, clean water, and medicine, it wasn’t enough. So, I gave them all of what I had as well – my whole group did. Sure, we went hungry for a couple of days, but they lived like that all the time.”

  “And that made you sick?” she asked as she blinked.

  “No, but on the final day, I was so thirsty, and I walked by a little flowing brook on the far side of the village. I knew it wasn’t safe drinking water, but I couldn’t help myself. I contracted a form of virus similar to the bird flu and ended up in the hospital in Singapore for a month before the quarantine was lifted, and I could finally return to Chi…London.”

  Damn. Almost slipped.

  “O.M.G., that's terrible!”

  “Barely survived.” I let the edge of my index finger lightly brush against the skin of her neck. I could feel her shiver in her thigh.

  Kimberly rolled her eyes, and Chris snickered.

  “The doctors said it was my stamina that saved me.”

  More eye rolling – from both Kim and Chris this time.

  The chick next to me just beamed.

  I'm so in there.

  There was nothing that was going to stop me from taking this girl back to my hotel room and fucking her into oblivion. Absolutely nothing. It was a good thing, too – I had just spent the last week trying to ditch a local girl who didn’t seem to understand the meaning of a one-night-stand. It even got to the point where I had to block her number from my phone, and she still kept finding ways to reach me. I’d half considered getting one of my dad’s goons to scare her into leaving me alone, but the only one who might have done it would have been Evan Arden, Dad’s favorite hit man and preferred son. He’s not actually related to us or anything; Dad just wishes he was. I’m not jealous. It’s just that Evan…well…I’d be afraid he’d end up doing more than just scaring her. I didn’t want her dead, just out of my way.

  Right now, I wanted to find a nice out-of-town girl to get my rocks off. That way, I would be able to get rid of her shortly afterwards, and even though my place was only a short ride on the Chicago L train or in a taxi, I’d rather make this a convenient hotel-room lay, and the chick next to me was exactly what I needed.

  “It’s not that late,” she purred over her straw.

  “This pub’s about to close, love.”

  “I bet there are other parties still going on,” she said with a bit of a smile and a flutter of her eyelashes.

  You don’t have to convince me, baby.

  There was always a party going on. Out here in the burbs, Lincoln Park, downtown, any of the hundred clubs and bars around – whatever you wanted, the city was sure to have it somewhere if you looked hard enough. I’d been a Chicagoan most of my life, so I knew all the best spots. Hell, I knew the shitty spots as well – I liked to party.

  Chicago is a great place to live, even if you aren’t connected to a family known for various illegal activities. Oh, I know – Chicago, right? Chicago and the mafia – how fucking cliché is that? Well, it is cliché. I can’t help that – I didn’t marry the mob; I was born into it.

  “Do you know what room parties are going on over ther
e?” she asked with that big, pink smile. She nodded over to the far side of the bar, which led to the hotel lobby and a bank of elevators. There were about thirty people standing around trying to get in, but every time the doors opened, the elevators were already full.

  Amateurs.

  I always got a room on a low floor so I could take the stairs if I want. Anytime there was a big event in a hotel, the elevator travel becomes insane. It was always best to book a room where you could get up and down without the wait.

  “We could head up to room 555,” she said. “I heard there’s an awesome party up there.”

  I barely heard the words though I was doing my best to maintain constant eye contact and that little hint of a half smile that made panties within twenty feet of me wet. It was the pink lips I was finding so distracting. It wasn’t just the bright, glittery sheen to them, but they had that Botox plumpness that just looked so good wrapped around…

  “There’s that party up in the con suite,” Chris reminded me. “Free food and piss-water beer.”

  I looked from the petite, overly made-up, busty redhead to the six-foot tall, black-haired Scotsman, several times removed from the country itself. He shrugged as I made eye contact with him. I so did not need him making this whole process of getting this chick to my room take longer. Ultimately, it impacted him, too. He’d have Lee hanging with him until I was done with her.

  I ignored his comment as I turned back to Mary.

  Or was it Maci?

  Shit.

  I let my eyes move slowly over her face, down her neck and over her shoulder, then back up to her eyes. My finger reached out and traced a little “N” on the roundest part of her bare shoulder before I met her eyes again.

  “I think I’d prefer a little less company,” I told her. “Maybe something a little more…intimate?”

  Her smile broadened, and there was a hint of a blush or maybe intoxication on her cheeks. As I got the server’s attention and paid the tab, she made not-so-subtle faces at her girlfriend across the bar. She was obviously pretty happy about ending up with me, too, and she didn’t even have the slightest idea who I was.

  It was kind of nice, really.

  Cliché or not, my father was Rinaldo Moretti – one of the crime kings of the big city. I didn’t share his last name or anything, but for the most part, everyone who lived in the area seemed to know who I was. That probably had something to do with me kind of appearing in his life one day when my mother decided being a parent wasn’t much fun and that it was his turn to take the reins.

  It would have been reasonable for him to resent me, I supposed, but he didn’t seem to. He wasn’t about to acknowledge me for who I was, and he wasn’t going to trust me with some important part of his businesses like he would a real son, but he didn’t kick me out when I was six years old. It wasn’t exactly acceptance, but it worked for us. Besides, I’m really not into the whole crime scene. I mean, the most illegal thing I ever do is smoke weed unless you want to count guilt by association. I’m around when a lot of shit happens. Mostly it’s small-time shit, but every once in a while it’s something bigger.

  “I’ve had it,” Kimberly announced. “You coming back or staying out?”

  “I’m gonna go find Lee,” Chris told Kim as he stood to let her out of the booth.

  She looked over to me, blatantly rolled her eyes, and didn’t even say goodnight or anything as she left the booth and headed out of the bar. Chris grabbed his pack of cigarettes and went to find Lee out on the smoking patio.

  “So how many marathons have you run?” Mary/Maci asked as I scribbled something illegible over the credit card receipt.

  I was pretty sure we’d already had this conversation, but I widened my half smile a little and went over the details of training for the Chicago Marathon, which had been my tenth. About the time I was done, I felt her hand wrap around my denim-clad thigh.

  “Your legs feel so strong,” she said quietly. Her teeth nibbled on her bottom lip a bit.

  Total score.

  Not that I really had any doubt. It was pretty damn rare I didn’t get what I wanted in the pussy department. Most of the guys who knew me thought it was a talent of sorts, but I thought it was pretty obvious how to act towards a chick. You just have to give them exactly what they want, and I know what chicks want to hear. Once you gave them precisely that, they were yours.

  Of course, there was always the exception.

  Enter Luisa.

  She stumbled a little over her platform heels in an attempt to make herself look far more drunk than she actually was. I knew she’d only had about three drinks all night, and there was no way she was even remotely intoxicated. Her tits were about to fall out of the top of her shirt, but she was totally doing that shit on purpose.

  She slumped a bit and placed one hand on the table top and the other on my shoulder.

  “Nick, honey,” she half said, half moaned into my ear, “the kids are in bed. Can we please go home now?”

  Oh, that bitch.

  I had to admit, she caught me by surprise, and I fought with being impressed that she came up with the idea at all and her ability to deliver the line with a straight face. Behind her, a few tables away, a group of her friends sat, laughing their asses off. One in particular, whom I had slept with a couple times over the past year, was howling with laughter even though her hand was half over her mouth.

  Oh no – Nick Wolfe doesn’t go down that easily.

  I turned back to Mary/Maci and gave her the eyes and smile of a rock star.

  “The divorce is almost final,” I informed her.

  Mary/Maci looked back and forth between me and the intrusive little thing standing outside the booth. She didn’t seem to know what to think of the whole exchange.

  “You could bring her with us if you want,” Luisa said in the same, sing-songy, whiney, totally fake-drunk voice. She couldn’t keep it up though, and at that point she totally lost it. She started laughing so hard, tears started running down her face.

  I tried to glare at my half-sister, but I also had to admit it was pretty funny. She’d pay for it when we got back to Dad’s place, though – I’d make sure of that. Even if I had to resort to shit I did as a teenager, like putting pudding in her pillowcase, I’d totally exact revenge for this one.

  I tilted my head to one side and raised a brow.

  “I couldn’t help myself!” she laughed as she walked away, gathered her friends, and made her way out of the hotel bar. I shook my head slowly as I watched the group of short-short clad bums head towards the elevators.

  I turned my head back to Mary/Maci. She either didn’t really comprehend what was going on around her or was too drunk to notice. Either way, she was ready to leave. I shoved my phone into my back pocket, helped her out of the booth, and escorted her up to my hotel room.

  Do Not Disturb

  Hopefully, Lee would get the damn message and not come back too soon.

  “Nice room!” Mary/Maci said as she looked around the suite. “You could have a great party here!”

  My hands slid around her waist, and I pulled her back against me.

  “I was thinking maybe you and I could have a great party here,” I whispered into her neck, which made her giggle.

  She turned around in my arms and ran her fingers up to my shoulders. Her head tilted up, and I pressed my lips against her mouth. She opened up, and my tongue took over. She tasted like Long Islands, and she liked nibbling on my lower lip, which I enjoyed quite a lot.

  She also didn’t seem too interested in a lot of foreplay, and considering the way my cock really wanted to jump out and join in with the rest of what was going on, that was going to work for me, too. Maybe Mary/Maci was my perfect match.

  If only I could remember which name was hers.

  She ditched her shirt and bra, and my hands moved up from her waist to cup her tits, and I rubbed my thumbs over her nipples. They contracted nicely, and I moved my lips from her mouth, over her jaw, down her n
eck, and took one of her nipples in my mouth. She moaned as I sucked, and my cock tried to burst right through my zipper.

  Dropping one hand down, I quickly unbuttoned, unzipped, and pulled the poor guy out so he could breathe a little. He didn’t get the chance to relax, though, because her hand wrapped around him almost immediately.

  “There you go, love,” I whispered against her breast as her fingers circled me and began to move up and down my shaft. “Just like that…”

  “I really need your cock in me,” she said, “like, right now.”

  I wasn’t about to argue with that line, so I let go of her. I quickly tossed my phone to the top of the bed so it wouldn’t end up on the floor, dropped my jeans and boxers to the floor, and grabbed the box of condoms out of my travel bag. By the time I looked back up, she had removed the rest of her clothes and tossed them onto Lee’s bed, so I didn’t waste any time getting back to her side.

  Mary/Maci took the box from my hand, looked over the label, and then shook her head.

  “I’m sorry,” she said as she glanced up at me with a shrug. “I’m allergic to the lubrication on that brand, and there’s no way I can risk getting pregnant – I still have two years of school left. Besides, my mom would kill me.”

  Fuck a duck.

  I couldn’t believe that after getting through both Kim and Luisa’s stunts from earlier, I was about to get cock-blocked by picking up the wrong brand of love-gloves at the pharmacy.

  Mary/Maci let out a long sigh.

  “We’re just going to have to do anal.”

  Oh, fuck yes!

  Nick Wolfe remains uncockblockable.

  She was on her hands and knees in the center of the bed about twenty seconds later. She apparently traveled with her own bottle of lube, which she pulled out of her purse and handed to me.

  Well, okay then!

  I lubed up my cock and then used my finger to get her going, too. She wriggled her hips around and pushed back against me as I let my index finger sneak past her opening. At the same time, I reached between her legs with my other hand and found her throbbing clit.